all i said was what if you wanted to relax
your back and shoulder muscles but god said
the body keeps the score? & all of a sudden
i am paying attention & i’ve got all this
ringing in my ears. i shouldn’t be surprised—
i still can’t tell if heat is friend or foe
or maybe frenemy, as my shoulders only
relax into spasms on the holy heating pad.
one eardrum whines especially sharply
& then blacks out for a minute or so
like god or whoever took a spike
to my cochlea. i am half vibrations,
half empty room, all born of things
i wish i didn’t have to remember still.
then as fast as stop hearing, i find sounds
again, still tense, still tingling. & i teem
with the source of the tension, waiting
for the rancor, for the ringing.