Ziphius

Once, I drowned a bird
in the backyard
and it turned 
into a whale. Once I stole
from my mother’s wallet 
and from the wallet
birds flew and flew
until I confessed.
I ate only powdered milk
until I felt pure again. 
So much about being
is about un-being. 
I try to say,
“this is not my body”
when I put on
my favorite dress.
Am I on my way
to becoming a nudist? Am I 
on my way to drowning
another bird?
A bird is a symbol of freedom
only not in this poem.
In this poem a bird is
a symbol
for the part of the face
that doesn’t belong
in the ocean. I had a priest
once call me “water owl.”
He had boney cold hands.
Sometimes people ask me
“Are you alright?”
when they see I am not alright.
They are asking me to lie.
I will not lie, reader,
especially not to you.
I am the depths. I am what
cannot breathe. I eat men
and knit their bones
into stirrups.