It's Kind of Like I'm James Bond
With all the gadgetry?
You really think I'd fling a barb that missed?
I've a reputation to uphold.
Inimitable style. Invulnerable remove.
When you're a thousand people, all real,
you need never say never to any of them.
It's Kind of Like I'm Doctor Who
Would you look at that!? Survived again! Or rather
resurrected—sturdily enough! Alors! We're off to meet
the miracles at the margins of space-time. And be one!
It's Kind of Like I'm Superman
I understand that, with my glasses on, you thought
me a mild-mannered man. But I drank
the yellow sun from the day I landed
on this planet of tender aliens. Even the plucky
reporter couldn't see inside my skin. For so long
my shrunken city of women was safe in a bottle
ensconced in a fortress of crystalline loneliness
in a secret ice waste that could be anywhere,
the last artifact of my lost homeland
that hadn't tried to kill me.
It's Kind of Like I'm the Martian Manhunter
Actually, totally fine
with being illegible to you
and no one recognizing me.
It's Kind of Like I'm Spider-Man
m s c u r i e ?
[peter stuttered, incapable of eye contact with a radioactive woman]
p l z b i t e m e ?
It's Kind of Like I'm John Wick
The catgirl assassin whirled in the autumn melee. She was a small part of the pantomime.
It's Kind of Like I'm Mr. Fantastic
doctorate after doctorate, and nothing
clicked until I stretched myself
a skirt and spun
It's Kind of Like I'm Daredevil
The accident that took my masculinity
strengthened all my other genders.
On waking, I could hear the truth
confessed in every heartbeat.
The flood of self began
as agony; to feel
by punches
proved
salvation.
It's Kind of Like I'm Indiana Jones
delicate dexterity pilfering personhood / replacement cautiously contoured silence
It's Kind of Like I'm Jean-Luc Picard on El-Adrel IV
Sylvia and Marsha
on Christopher Street. The river
of endogenous hormones in winter. Agnes
at UCLA with sails unfurled. The children of Florida
when the walls fell. Inanna,
her arms wide. Enheduanna,
her eyes uncovered.
It's Kind of Like I'm Hawkeye
somehow I found myself teamed up
with demigods & sorcerers
irradiated geniuses
& chosen ones & billionaires
& Hunter Schafer
but I just like dogs & pizza,
& practicing & practicing & practicing & practicing
& practicing & practicing & practicing, you know?
It's Kind of Like I'm the Hero with A Thousand Faces
Dear friends! Today I venture forth
From the Categories assigned on common days
Into a Transition of supernatural wonder.
Dysphoria and Transphobia will there be encountered
And a decisive Surgery won.
Soon I shall return from this Mystery
With the Power to make you truly benevolent
If you would but use the Right Pronouns.
It's Kind of Like I'm Neo
Obvi.
(James Bond: adapts “I'm a thousand different people. Every one is real.” from Candy Darling's papers, and the Bond movie title Never Say Never Again. John Wick: adapts stanza III of Wallace Stevens' “Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird”. Jean-Luc Picard: adapts the allegory-based Tamarian language introduced in the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “Darmok” written by Joe Menosky. Hero with A Thousand Faces: adapts a summary of the hero's journey from Joseph Campbell's The Hero with A Thousand Faces.)
Callie Jennings (@aporianautics) is a game designer, musician, and writer. She received the 2023 Bennett Nieberg Transpoetic Broadside Prize, and has work in x/y: a junk drawer of trans voices and Troublemaker Firestarter. Her poetry newsletter is at threemachineexpression.substack.com, and chances are she’s dancing.