While I’m logged off, a new hashtag:
this time a transfemme, beaten to death.
Someone tweets her two-week-old selfie
screen-shot from her Instagram feed
flooded now with incantations of her name.
Scroll away to find someone has tweeted about the new bill in Texas. Someone tweets about the new bill in Georgia. Someone tweets, 235 anti-trans bills have been proposed across the country. Someone tweets about the new bill in South Carolina. Someone tweets, I’m really scared to live here. Someone tweets about the new bill in Kentucky. Someone tweets, 322 anti-trans bills have been proposed across the country. Someone tweets about the new bill in Tennessee. Someone tweets about the new bill in Arkansas.
This bill will charge trans people as sexual offenders if they use the bathroom in public. & this bill will restrict trans teens from accessing puberty blockers. & this bill will restrict trans adults up to the age of 21 from accessing gender-related healthcare. & this bill will restrict trans adults up to the age of 26 from accessing gender-affirming healthcare. & this bill will restrict trans adults from accessing gender-affirming healthcare. & this bill will rename gender-affirming healthcare as child abuse. & this bill will out trans students to their parents. & this bill will not allow teachers to use a student’s chosen name. & this bill will remove trans people from sports. & this bill will remove trans kids from their parents’ care. & this bill will remove kids from their trans parents’ care. & this bill will remove the word “trans” from the classroom. & this bill will remove trans stories from the public library. & this bill will remove trans people from public life.
This bill will remove trans people.
Someone tweets the video of Michael Knowles’ speech
at the Conservative Political Action Conference, in which he states,
transgenderism should be eradicated.
Someone tweets, #EradicateTransgenderism.
Someone tweets, the problem with trans people is that they’re just looking for attention.
Someone tweets, is anyone paying attention?
Someone retweets an article from the New York Times about the flaws of trans healthcare, which includes no interviews with trans people. Someone tweets a selfie of the trans flight attendant who killed herself last week. Someone tweets a video of a drag brunch protest, twelve men armed with semi-automatics. Someone tweets a picture of a celebrity trans actor with a bullet hole Photoshopped into his head. Someone tweets, the problem with trans people is that they’re always trying to force it down everyone’s throat. Someone tweets a meme about teaching their 2-year-old son how to be a real man. Someone tweets about a father who says, if my son came out as gay, I’d kill him. Someone tweets, I’m scared to come out to my dad because I don’t know if he’ll ever speak to me again. Someone tweets, over 515 anti-trans bills have been proposed across the country.
Someone tweets, kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself on my selfie,
& I delete the replies before anyone else can see. I delete the selfie too.
Someone tweets, log off, so I do.
But then someone tweets, I feel like I’m shouting into the void, because the void has logged themselves out of Twitter, because they keep having panic attacks when they read the news. Someone tweets, do you prefer the term transgender or transsexual? Someone tweets, who cares? They’re killing us.
Someone tweets about the young trans girl who killed herself two weeks ago. Someone tweets a link to her suicide note, & I read it at 4am when I can’t sleep. Her suicide notes details how her parents forced to detransition. Someone tweets, if you’re reading this, please don’t give up. Don’t give up just yet please. Someone tweets, stay safe. Someone tweets, please seek help. Please don’t do this. Someone tweets, you deserved better. Someone tweets, my heart breaks for you. Someone tweets, please don’t be gone. Please. Someone replies, get over it, he’s dead. Someone replies, cry about it, tranny. Someone tweets, please still be alive. Someone tweets, you are loved.
Her suicide notes gets 66,000 likes and 7,532 reweets.
Someone tweets, hashtag hashtag hashtag.
Someone tweets, the problem with trans people is they have the audacity to stay alive.
Someone tweets, the problem with trans people is. The problem with trans people is.
Someone tweets, the problem is trans people.
Someone tweets a link to an online HRT pharmacy, says, get ready for the worst. Someone tweets, get ready for what’s coming. Someone tweets, how am I supposed to buy groceries and go to work & go to school & keep going when I know there are people at the state house debating my existence? Someone tweets, how am I supposed to go on? Someone tweets about how brave I am, again Someone tweets, I’m so tired of being brave. I just want to be safe. Someone tweets, what we need right now, more than ever, is trans joy. Someone tweets a selfie of them kissing their trans girlfriend. Someone tweets a photo of two trans men swimming in the ocean, publicly shirtless for the first time after their top surgery scars have healed. Someone tweets a meme about a stuffed shark at IKEA. Someone tweets, how’s my progress? 3 years on T. Someone tweets, I thought we were making progress. What happened? Someone tweets, goodbye im sorry i just cant do it anymore.
I wake to a new hashtag, and this time I’m afraid to read her name.